


Ringside Hot Seat

by DeeperShadowsOfRed (SheMovesInTheShadows)



Series: Fanciful Figments; Ed [3]
Category: Ed Sheeran (Musician)
Genre: F/M, Fluff for fluff sake!, Hot Redhead, Reality bites, Singing, Smut (so there), angst & fluff, fiction is better, gimmie love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-14 22:22:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4582329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheMovesInTheShadows/pseuds/DeeperShadowsOfRed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In all the time you had been dating never once had you gone to watch him sing, let alone sat in the wings.<br/>He opened the set with an unusual number, a very stripped down version of one of his songs.<br/>Already having second thoughts about flying out to join him on this last leg of the tour, would his stage presence prove too much to handle?<br/>If only you'd taken Lisa's advice. She was a wealth of good knowledge, after all, but of course you knew better.<br/>How bad could it possibly be? Surely she exaggerated about life on the road.<br/>This was Ed, coffee shop Ed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aches & Pains

**Author's Note:**

> Still a work I progress. Currently just a rough draft .  
> Let me know what you guys think,. Having a bit of a block at the moment.  
> Something needs tweeking, as yet to find what that is!!  
> Such is my writing nightmare :)  
> This was my inspiration,the performance literally 'Inspirational!'  
> Check it out, one of my favourite vids(for purely 'educational' reasons ;-) )  
> (Its in the link below at beginning of the story)  
> Anyway hope you enjoy!!  
> What am I saying its Ed? Enjoyment guaranteed!!  
> ☺✌❤

[The Video That Started It All!!](http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tHlsbvzE-cU)

**************************

 

Sitting down on an uncomfortable wooden seat, placed just for me at the far corner of the wings I blinked as eyes adjusted to the lighting and screaming fans.

This was the absolute worse thing for an unshakeable headache but having just arrived in the country a short while ago I wanted to show support. Hoping madly that the tablets taken some time ago would start to kick in. Maybe having them on a full stomach would have been better. Being a terrible flier that had proven impossible, as expected even the mere smell of food set off nausea. Already anxious about the impending plane journey, travel sickness reared before our flight was even called. Managing to hold down the water and fizzing disolvables had been a miracle. If only they'd do their job.  
  
My fiery haired boyfriend was preforming & would be expecting to see me close by, waiting to greet him. It had been a while since we'd last been in the same country yet alone place. I'd been dashing off for the 'Summer to Autumn' fashion expo our store was hosting, in one of their jazzier venues.  
  
It was more a fashion show with hair, beauty, stylist stations for the guests to take advantage of. Tickets had sold out pretty fast this time around, which had been an Eye-opener. Our first attempt 12 mths ago nearly never took off, having to stoop to giving courtesy tickets away to advantage card holders just to get the word out. It was an opportunity to reel the younger customer in, and keep our regulars hooked. In the end the idea proved profitable. Stock moving at record speed afterwards the event. People had been asking for its return, so there it was, we catered to the masses. The Expo seemed destined to become a regular occurance now.  
  
Ed had a few days to spare around that time, so we'd spent some hours together. For a change I'd been the busier party, which was odd for us, but things were back on even kilter now. He managed to catch up with his family and friends, which was great. That way I hadn't felt quite as bad that I was abandoning him for work commitments.  
  
Not that he'd ever complain. Still it niggled at me that I needed to make it up to him. This was step one. Good girlfriend attending gig. Hopefully brownie points would be awarded accordingly.

A smile crept steadily across my face, could feel the way it dimpled across cheeks. My attempt to bite it back unsuccessful. I knew there would be gloating if he caught it, any little inkling of amusement. He'd practically had to drag me here. Sweet talking me over the phone. Last thing I needed was for him to see he was in fact right and I was enjoying myself.

We'd been dating for nearly thirteen months now. If you could really call it that. His career and mine on two completely different race tracks, it was a commute just to be with each other. Skype becoming our go-between, a technical chaperone of sorts just to get some face time.  
Should never really have told him that I had taken some time off, warranting this instant invitation. Well that was a lie. Not an invitation, it was assumed.

Oh you're free? Come join me, be my wingman in this crazy celebrity lifestyle. It was something I had managed to steer clear of so far. This insistence of me attending his concert an unnerving one. There was nothing I wanted more than to avoid such madness. Getting in here in the first place had been some sort of covert mission.

Was more used to working behind the scenes, one of the often forgotten yet necessary grunts. Putting thoughts of merchandising aside was a hard thing. Robert had recently managed to talk the powers that be into giving us a pay rise. It was only seven percent but better than a slap in the face. Wow, did they love their odd numbers. Anyway at least it would come in handy as I continued my studies. Tutors were impressed with the volume of pieces put into the portfolio so far. I hoped that ment nothing but good things. They weren't the only panel I needed to impress, but their oversight was appreciated. A fashion oriented placement was expected this term, and unwittingly my merchandising position had that covered. Even though I wanted to get a more design minded post, I'd been advised that this more than covered the bases.

Secretly glad that year one was safely tucked under my belt, year 2 looked promising. Might even take on an extra module or two, if all went well. Leaving employment stresses/university studies behind proved difficult. Should be the wrapped up in the now. Moments before I watched Ed take to the stage, live. It was the first time for me. Not seeing him in concert but up close, behind the scenes like this. 

  
I had gone onto Youtube and forced myself to watch at a few videos. For some reason dreading what would be there waiting for me. His performances would be great obviously, just the thoughts of manipulated videos twisted around in my head, unsteadying my resolve.  
  
Wanting to prepare somewhat and hone expectations. The last concert I went to was forever ago, and each one was different. Every singer or band had their own way of doing things. Myself and Lisa attending Justin Timberlake was hardly going to be anything like this. And yet again she had to drag me to that one. We'd had such a blast that it was almost criminal. He was a guilty pleasure of ours and the man didn't disappoint.

I loved social media, or had done, until we began dating. Or more accurately until it hit me in the face from out of a glossy magazine, who I had been hanging out with. A singer known all over the globe. From then on I tended to steer clear to the whole kitten-kabudle. For fear of what I might see or find, maybe stupidly believe as fact anything, when it was all an elaborate web of lies. There were fans, superfans, short of a pickle stalkers and plain 'wind-up-merchants' to deal with. So was best to avoid the drama and get things straight from the horses mouth.  
Media was a fickle thing, short of nothing they wouldn't stoop to in the quest for more followers.

So far he had been relatively untouched by their glare, but that could all change in an instant.

Ed'd arrived quite a while ago. Sneaky photographers were scattered. More consumed with their cameras and comparing snaps than a handful of crew hands entering the arena. No one of interest to pap among us. Having got their fill of the main man himself earlier. The way they hovered around like vultures irritating me. Surely they had better thing to do than stand around for another few hours and catch him leaving the venue.

Pulling selfconciously at the hem of blue emblazoned T-shirt, which was at least two sizes too big. Thrown on over faded skinny jeans and sneakers, I had unwittingly become stadium crew for this venue. Well in appearances only. Whoevers bright idea it was to dress me as such, clearly went all out. The laminated access pass, identifying who I supposedly 'worked' for clipped onto my top with care.

Don't loose it, was the sage advice given, twenty minutes ago. As if there was chance of that. Big silver bull clip affair, holding it in place a firm one. Should have had a badge stating, 'Hi, I'm Ollie, Fish out of water, avoid at all costs.' Would about sum up the situation right now.

May as well been at work. At least then I wouldn't be lost at sea if anything was asked of me. Landing hours ago. I hadn't even had a chance to speak to Ed. One of his trusty pals had picked me up at the airport, made for an interesting ride as he spilled the beans on their recent escapades. Being on the road was excuse for all sorts of pranks to be pulled. The most recent one on Stuart. Being assured that there was not only tricks to ammuse ourselves with, but some sort of ongoing Nerf gun war League was in progress. There was even a leader board. Stealth was apparently the way to go if I was to get anywhere on their rankings. That was the only tip slash pointer he was willing to part with.

At least the car journey wasn't a dull one. Either he was trying to freak me out completely, or prepare for the impending insanity.

My god, what had I allowed myself to be dragged into. Should have arranged to hit a sunny beach somewhere with Lisa. At least then any mayhem would be supervised, as we took turns playing devils advocate with each other. Even a staycation, clocking up some R and R in my cosy apartment would have sufficed.

For some reason being holed up with a bunch of guys, on a bus wasn't filling me with the joys one would expect. Images of college dorms and gag reflexing, unexplained smells were dancing around my head. Just hoped that the promise I would be joining a couple of girls, was an accurate one.

Nerf stealth....yes that was pretty low on my list of strengths. Let's just say the only thing cat like about me was the fact that if I fell over, usually landed on all fours. That was it. Otherwise my chimpish qualities were on the clumsy end of the scales. Had more chance of getting knocked out by a flying missile than sneakily intercepting anyone. Oh joy!! Luckily this wouldn't be the first or last time I'd embarrass myself.  
This was definitely going on the 'things I did just cos we're dating' list. Could my boyfriend not be an average run of the mill lad, not some globe trotting musical sensation. Small mercy being that his was his last leg of current tour.

It was Eds last night preforming here. One more venue left after this before the it wrapped up, then it was chill time for him too. Maybe we could catch up, get some hours alone. But that was a slim prospect. The lads would want to catch up, family to reconnect with, then there was remaining PR stuff and promoting. Hell, I sighed, should have brought a good novel with me. Tour bus had ample entertainment systems. If I'd enough insight that box set of The Walking Dead would be caught up on, and I wouldn't still be telling Lisa to keep it zipped about the season 5 creshendo.

Hollering was continuing, making it near to impossible to focus on anything else. Everyone was calling his name. Shouting other random things that couldn't really be made out over the wolf whistles and general clamouring.

Calm down ladies, not like hes going anywhere. Oh yeah, I'll just turn up, fiddle around a bit, then vanish. Gotta leave them wanting more! My thoughts making me laugh. The excitement for him to begin was overwhelming even his older fans. Some squeeling like their teenage children. One massive mass of hysteria.

All creating one certainty, this headache wasn't going anywhere. Fast turning into one of those behind the eyes, stabbing your temples migraines.

His opening act. The warm up band had just left moments ago. Clearing the stage for him. The crowds suitably pepped up and ready to go. Shaking my head I glanced at Ed. Still setting up, or at least biding his time with pretext of checking equipment. He loved this, every second of it, I could tell. Just by the way he pottered around. Each move laced with joy. This was his life, his world.

It had been a while since I'd laid eyes on him. The demanding schedule kept us apart too much, but just seeing him there. Owning that stage, filled me with happiness. All the weeks seperated melting away. This was his first love, his 'wife' and she was apparently a great mistress.

It was so hard to believe this was the same guy from the coffee shop. That mysterious hooded man, whose very presence captivated me from first sight.

Shut up Ollie, I chided, the romcom drivel you've been watching is warping brain cells. Love at first sight, c'mon that was some Romeo and Juliet nonscence right there. Spent too many nights curled up on the sofa with Twizzler and a tub of ice cream, delving into the worlds of old school romances. My life being more like Bridget Jones than the glamour of Fred Estare or Audrey Hepburn.

Ed was grinning nervously. A hint of colour to his face. It was always the same when he first took to the stage. Having told me so once before, when I dared pry an answer from him. He described it as nervous tension, a kind of buzz. The phrase sounding familiar to athletes when quizzed before a race or competition. I'd never been backstage at a concert, the air positively alive with...well, tension. No other way to describe it.

In many ways similar to our fashion shows at work, but on a much bigger, less stress inducing way.

He did look a bit uneasy. Anxious to start the set probably. Knowing how Ed liked things to run smoothly and to perfection, that possibly ate at him too. His fans were so important, he never wanted to let them down. Nothing less than 100 percent was acceptable.

This all translated into nerves. Well there'd be something wrong if worries didn't niggle him. He was preforming to huge crowds. Stadiums and arenas all over the world. There was much that could and would cause such angst.

I guessed it was the same with all performers, until the surge of adrenalin kicked in. Certainly was for the models I had to deal with. Usually a very vocal, giddy bunch until faced with the catwalk looming distance they became positively silent. Psycing themselves up to give it their all on that few minutes in the spotlight. Arranging them into their proper line up and last second touches ment I could feel the kick first hand. The twist in atmosphere as energy fizzed on the air. It was an electrifying thing.

No wonder Ed was so animated by it. His life on the stage. Made him practically glow.

His lips lilted in a secretive smile, all to himself. Pushing some wiry strands of stray hair off his forehead. Dots of sweat already starting to glisten there. Lord knows how he'll last the set, if the heat was getting to him already. Lighting baring down like a hundred sunbeams at once. Could feel its warmpth, and I was safely tucked in at the back here. Hidden from their unending glare.

Squinting to shield my gaze from the brightness. If not for this insessent pain eating my skull, I would have probably basked in their rainbow rays.

Almost without warning he started strumming. Humming hauntingly into the mike.  
Besides a few " love you Ed"s the crowd began to fall silent.

Way to control them, I marvelled as the quiet became so surreal it was almost deafening. We were mesmerised by him.

Ed head bowed, pushed out the opening lines through moistened lips. Having just licked them distractedly, a move which hadn't gone unnoticed. Tiny drops of moisture catching pinpricks of shine on them. Reflected by overhanging beams.

Not a girly, glossy look. It was just a slickness, making them softly enticing.

"Give me love like her, cos lately I've been waking up alone."

My heart skipped a beat literally. Wheither by trick of the mind or pure protectivness he appeared vulnerable. In that moment at least. Alone in the middle of that vast space, with thousands of eyes on him. His shadow thrown across the harsh floor in some skewed fashion. It seemed to be his only companion. Although surrounded by amps, sound system, mike and guitar and his back up, it still struck me that he was solo.

Appearance and tone hitting me at once. Ed was doing a stripped down version of this song. One even I hadn't heard yet. Which was unusual. Whenever he was staying at mine a guitar never seemed far from his reach. Songs practiced, reworked, tweaked. How had this escaped me?  
Avoiding directly facing the sea of crowds, twisting slowly, he continued the verse. An almost overwhelming urge to run out there and protect him, snaked through me. I could shield him from their gaze.

Take his face in my hands. Allow fingers to trace the dusky path of bearded stubble and stare into the impossible pools of blue eyes.  
This is a showcase Ollie, reminding myself that even musicians acted in a certain way. Entertain the crowd and suck them into a world they could get lost in.

Ed began to creshendo into the chorus. Voice strong, encapsulating the whole arena. Strong current of melody bringing the air alive. The control he had over his vocals stunning me. He kept things reigned in, the confines of my studio flat dictating such. But here in the vastness it seemed let loose. More power and strength put behind each syllable. A surge of desire swept through me. Passion came through every note. His passion.

"Give a little time to me or burn this out, we can play hide and seek, turn this around, all I want is the taste that your lips allow, "my, my, my, my, oh gimmie love."

Ed had his eyes shut tightly, hitting the words hard. Almost insistent. The way rough hands could be on my body as he caressed flesh. Adamant in their persuit. Pushing and probing. Questioning skin to react to their touch. Taunting, teasing their way to the release of inhibitions.

The way it had been when we were first together. Rushed with sudden surge of boldness. Each prodding to see how far we could tempt the other until it became unbearable. Unexpected yet long awaited, having dated for a while before things progressed that far. Shuddering with warmpth as visions of him in the kitchen sprang forth. Hadn't been able to keep our hands off each other that day. The kiss both began and ended in that room. Not long before dishevelled clothing was strewn about it and he was stood bare. Cursing at the chill of the linoleum floor when our exposed flesh touched it. It hadn't stayed cold, slick from joined heat warming it.

Before I had the chance to catch breath and drag myself from naked images, his words sucked me into that vortex again. All escape closed off. Trapped with the intensity of that night. "M-my m-my, m-my m-my, m-my m-my, oh gimmie love lover,"

Uttering the words repeatedly, a harsh refrain, the pace of breath as he slowly reached peaks of abandon.

Steady and low, getting more shrill, faster, until without much thought he was simpering almost throathy, gluttoral whispers. He was out of breath and everyone could hear it.

That same lost pace, I was accustomed to hearing close to my ear. Hot and heavy, tingeling flesh as it laboured out. Placed along or against flesh.

Surely mine wasn't the only body effected by this song. Cheeks becoming flushed with embarrassment, a surge ripped through my stomach. Pooling between my hips. A bubbeling confession. Without even the slightest of touch not only needing but craving him. Heart racing to its own quickened rthym. There was no way I could sit through another performance like that.

Thumping of this damn migrane, being assaulted even more by the sudden surge of unsteady blood around every limb. A weird pleasure/pain combo.

He was singing, but my body was reacting like some chippendale dancer had taken the stage.

What a musical choice. Acoustic version very intimate and personal.

I watched wide eyed as he laid the guitar out flat on his knee. No longer strumming, but picking and tapping the curved wood and strings.  
A blush heating my chest as I envisioned his palms meeting skin, the way they landed, practically slapping against it.

Holy moley, if Lisa could see me now, she would take the mick. Give that girl a bucket she's salivating. This is what cold, freezing ice showers were invented for, of that I'm sure. Pulse barrelling in my ribs. It was alright wasn't it? He was my boyfriend after all, I was supposed to mentally undress him. Picture the ginger songwriter replacing me with the instrument on his lap.

The thought causing me to bite down my lip a bit too hard. Damn, this was too much. His actions too risque, in my mind at least.

Had I missed him that much? The thought filling me with uneasiness, maybe randyness that usually came with a few drinks had crossed over some barrior. Hopefully this was a once off. Or a certain purchase would have to be made, one which would quell such feelings.  
Finding myself breathing in time with an almost airless Ed.

Steady rasp clenching his throat as he reached a heightened end to the repeated lyric.

We were all silent, awed by the unique performance. Ed stopped, stroking a finger too innocently along his nose before righting the guitar in his knee.

God-damnit, you're one lucky boy Nigel, I mused, looking at the gleaming paw print drawn across his front. The instrument one of many which usually travelled with him. All time low. Envious of a guitar. Scraping the barrel there Ollie, chiding distractedly.

Eds face straight as if unaware of the effect his song had on the audience. There was as light twinkle in those Sheeran eyes.

Crowd went crazy, they would take the roof off the place. Sounds muted in my ears, wanting to walk on that stage and take him right there and then. Strip him bare and have them all witness his loss of composure. Wrap my mouth around hi.....

"Hell," I winced as the sound became more shrill, breaking like a ram into the barrier of what I could withstand torture wise. Riptide of searing daggers stabbing my head, bringing tearyness to already squinted eyes. Quickly running fingers over throbbing temples, I had to admit defeat. There was no way I could sit this one out. Maybe if I found a less amplified area in back, things wouldn't be so bad. Rising out of the seat, I brushed past some stage hands and crew. Legs shaky while weaving through new faces until I met a familiar one. Stuart. Concern written on his features.

"You ok Ollie?" I didn't mind that he called me that. A name usually reserved for those who knew me better than our brief interactions allowed," you look a bit peaky?"

"I'm eh, not feeling too great," truth being, it was as if someone had taken a variety of sharpened tools to my brain and attempted to extract it. Unsuccessfully. If I looked anyhting like I felt, it was a woeful appearance," sorry Stuart, think I need some air."

He placed a hand on my forehead, which surprised me mildly," yea you're burning up. May be best if you rest for a while. I can come get you when we're wrapping up?"

"Thanks," my gratitude coming out gushed, releaved," really don't wanna let Ed down."

As we worked yet another mission impossible to the bus, my mind swam distractedly. Not paying much heed as Stuart gave me the grand tour.  
This was a travel vehicle of some luxury. Although everyone seemed to be crammed right on top of the other. Shown a bed I could lay on if the need be, seeing as I looked 'like death' (his words).

Once again thanking Stuart before he left. Still appearing concerned at my feverish state of stupor.

Poor man, he really didn't need to add me to his list of worries. Yet his reluctance to leave me on my own showed just that. Somewhere on his itinerary, check on Ollie had been penciled in.

Headache from the overcrowded plane journey, still not admitting defeat. I checked the time, taking another couple of tablets. Always careful not to over do the paracetamol, a hang over from when I was growing up. My moms words warning, 'you'll build up a resistance, and damage your kidneys'. Good advice, straight from the parenting joirnal! I sighed cushioning the thumping temples into a pillow. Shielding my head as best I could. Maybe shutting my eyes wouldn't be such a bad thing, might even help shift the stubborn migraine before Ed finished his numbers.

Drifting along with the crazy images in my head, I began to relax. Silence at last, seemed to be doing the job.

Images plagued me now. Replaying segments of the last few minutes over and over.

Ed had with intent and knowledge, through the genius subelty of music made love to each and every person in that crowded arena.

That was my last cohesive thought before submitting to my bodies wish to mend itself. Its wish to sleep and send all necessary recruits to aid the recovery of one very battered head.


	2. After a Migrane, Midnight comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated the chapter a bit here and there!!  
> Makes a bit more sense now. Hope you enjoy!  
> ☺✌❤

Waking with a start, shaking my ankle gently,"Twizzler, get down."

Groaning, what was with this cat. Clock all over the place, it wasn't feeding time already. The bottomless sinkhole that was his feline appetite could wait a while longer.

Knowing full well that there was kibble laid out for him should he become that ravenous. Maybe I was in fact guilty of spoiling him rotten. It had claimed that on various occasions.

The miniscule movements continued.

Darn cat. If I laid still, he may just get bored and go away. Not really wanting to open my eyes just yet, hoping the feline got the drift and allowed me a few more minutes of sleep. Burying face deeper into the pillow, its hazy scent filling my nose with confusion. A mix of coconut shampoo and faint Hugo.

What the hell? Coconut sure, probably from my hair, but certainly the aftershave had been washed away last time I checked. Tumble dryer erasing all hints of Eds last visit. Not that I was a psychotic pillow sniffer, just having the essence of my boyfriend around was comforting. Hating that the cases needed cleaning, the chore spiriting him away in that demon machine. Metallic drum sucking the last dregs of him from the little home I had made for myself.

A chuckle sounded from the right as my other ankle was lifted and shirked around. Hearing the thud of a shoe hitting the floor.

Suddenly alert. I wasn't at home. The flat didn't hum. This was the bus, its movement slight, engine whirring away almost soundlessly. No it was definitely not my apartment and I wasn't alone. Which ment?!

"Shhugar," curse escaping quickly, scampering up.

Twisting free of the blanket that was thrown lightly over me. Confused as to how the fleece had appeared, having laid down without one earlier.

The concert!! Flipping hell, I'd missed Ed. Wasn't Stuart supposed to come get me when things were winding down.

Scanning the semi lit room in a guilty panic. Fantastic girlfriend I was turning out to be. That was the trophy down the drain, its possible there was still a 'thank you for competing' rosette out there somewhere with my name on it.

"Hey," his voice sounded amused as my eyes adjusted to focus. Heart already pumping from fright, it nearly stopped seeing him stood there.

"Feeling better?" Ed. Stomach did a mini flip. Startled, from the sudden wake, followed by the vision meeting me. After almost a month apart he stood footsteps from where I lay.

Moving to sit on the edge of the bed. He'd changed out of the clothes worn to perform. Dressed in a plain emerald T-shirt and grey tracksuit bottoms, his wiry hair spiked askew as if it'd been recently dryed. Blue eyes twinkling with hints of concern. Scratching distractedly at the stubble that crept down his jaw.

"Babe?" Ed said quizzically, putting his hand on mine.

Realising that I'd been staring gobsmacked, smiling as a steady surge of heat coursed from his palm to mine.

How was it he still had the effect to leave me completely breathless? Skin alive by the smallest touch.

"Can't believe this, missed the whole thing didn't I? God Ed I'm so sorry. Really dropped the ball," my lenghty apology brushed aside,with a single shake of his head.

I should have been there, not squirreled away in the dark.

"Don't be silly. How you feeling?" The query repeated patiently.

Making me feel even more crummy that I'd missed out on meeting him offstage.

"Better now," the confession one tinged with annoyance. Typical me, life always getting in the way of any planned good intentions.

Kicking the fleece blanket off my feet, pushing up to sit. I spun around, twisting so that we ended up sat side by side. Knowing that if I continued lying there the whispers of drowsiness would call me back to sleep again.

Suddenly nervous as the warmpt of his body bounced off mine. Glancing at the cartoonish tattoos that covered his arm. Noticing how the fine hairs were grazing against my skin. Hairsbreadth space between our flesh. My ears heating with wash of embarrassment. Tingling with a mix of emotions.

Smell of clean flesh and Nivea mixed with his signature Hugo. The scent not overwhelming but faint enough to tell me he had put them on a while ago. Giving the fragrances time to settle nicely onto skin.

"Got Stuart worried, half expecting there'd be some kind of pasty, zombie on my hands when I got in," he joked, pulling hair off my face with a sweep of rough fingers against cheek.

"Thought he was going to come get me...."

"You were sparko, didn't wanna wake you," he defended.

Not that it was necessary. I was annoyed at myself no-one else. Should have never laid down. Just got too comfortable and dozed off.

"What time is it?" I mumbled, barely able to stifle the yawn. Apparently taking a siesta, made me more tired than expected. Long hours of travel knocking the body for six.

"Dunno," Ed smiled, "around 12-ish."

He was looking strangely at me. Continued observation making me a bit self conscious. God I hoped I hadn't been drooling in my sleep, skimming fingers across to inspect for any tell tail wet on chin and mouth. Relieved when I found none. Was probably bed head, my brain concluded. No doubt the last few hours spent tossing and turning. Some sight.

Midnight? God, had I really slept that long. Last time I checked the clock it had been around eight thirty. Face palming myself.

"Jesus, the guys'll think I'm one of those terrible house guests," biting my lip anxiously," Who just shows up and crashes without so much as a 'hello'?"

"Mmmnnn," he mumbled, arm snaking around waist slowly, bringing his mouth to my ear. Tracing along it, sending a shiver through an already pounding ribcage.

He smelt too good. Fresh from the recently taken shower. Trying to concentrate was proving hard. How could you think straight when lips pressed against you. Slivers of bristles brushing flesh.

"Hey,"I stalled, pushing him away a bit. The closeness a distraction,"haven't made a bad impression with them d'ya think?"

I'd met most of his friends. But you could never really meet all of them. He knew people from many different walks of life. Sure there was a few new faces in this bus that were yet to be introduced. First impressions were hard to change, especially bad ones.

"Don't give it a second thought," he whispered, pulling me to him determined. Eyes darkening. His lips parted invitingly. I knew this was the worse time to be looking for any semblance of rational thought, but prevailed.

"Edward," my tone getting sterner.

Its not as if becoming best buddies with them was the end of the world, but friends, even mutual acquaintance was important. Would make what remained of this trip bearable. Lisa always told me to be positive. A hard thing to do. Since some personalities didn't mesh well with others. For whatever reason they just clashed. Had seen it before especially in closed quarters like these.

Fearful that I'd grate on someone's last nerve. So far getting along with Eds friends but still expecting to meet one who just took and instant dislike. Didn't want to be the cause of any ill feeling.

"Olivia," came the mimicked response, mouth inches from mine. Tauntingly. A hint of alcohol coming through minty fresh toothpaste. Obviously trying to hide it as best he could. The wisps of its tell tale aura still coming through regardless.

"You've been drinking!"

"Just a can or two with the lads,"he said, shrugging not really giving it much thought," can't overdo it, there's more gigs left."

"Yea, I know," the fact theat he'd downed a few didn't bother me. Far from it, kinda guessed that it came with the territory. What happened on the road, stayed on the road. Any big celebration would be left till when the tour wrapped up. He wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the success of this last leg.

He was relaxed now. This venue done and dusted. Chilling before the next show loomed. Wondering off hand if his set remained the same throughout the tour. Each song given its position, place set in stone. Probably worked out as some kind of script. Playlist preformed live. Much like the rehersed walk and twists of models on a runway.

Which ment thousands of people had enjoyed his unique version of 'Give me love' already.

Attempting to stop the wandering thoughts now skirting through my mind, images of him on that damn stage. One man and his guitar. Him and Nigel teasing arenas of fans. Making many hearts beat as one, countless minds wander. Hundreds of heads probably stripping him bare.

Blue orbs catching mine. I examined them, wondering what he'd do if he knew the visions that flew around my mind. Eds eyes were unusually lit, given the dimness of the room. The color that bit deeper than usual. Twists of lighter shades dotting iris's closer to black pupils.

Shifting to turn into him more, my leg crossed his. Resting it on his lap. Not wanting to put much weight onto him, deciding to linger there. His palm latched around kneecap, holding it in place. Warmpt engulfing my stomach.

Our silence wasn't awkward. Filled with pockets of heat. A slight cracking on the air.

Remembering how hours ago my mind had mentally stripped him in front of screaming fans.

The thoughts making me breathless once more. Wafts of aftershave teasing me to inhale them. Breathe in their heavenly scent, get lost in their essence.

Fighting the urge to run my nose along his skin. Touch the purely manish skin. A mix of smooth and rough flesh. There was nothing quite like his body.

A smile crept across Eds face. Shifting the pressure of his hand on my waist. Heating against the cotton tee.

Leaning in I caught his lips with mine. Tasting the sensation of his mouth. Pushing insistent against each other. Our tongues teasing. Exploring. Breaths marring together in a mangle of tempered excitement. Almost forgotten how good it was to kiss him. The embrace heated, a bit rushed. Not sure if it was because we hadn't been around each other in a while, or some crazy buzz left over from the concert, things seemed urgent. Layered with something deeper. Eds breath heavy, pushed out to slice through mine.

Mumbeling distractedly as I tried to get control of my spiralling emotions. Gripping wiry strands through my fingers, giving them a little tug in the process, he groaned. Sending a thrill racing through me. Moving from invading inner recesses. Sucking first Eds lower then upper lip. Twisted stubble grazing my mouth. Pushing aside questioning thoughts of 'stubble burn', if that actually was a thing.

His hand tensed on my leg, beginning to climb up my thigh. Tracing along the seam of the skinny jeans. Each inch higher melting me more into him. Tremour working down my spine, clenching around pelvis, creating a crunched well of anticipation.

Ed knew this deliberation sent me insane. His breath just as harsh as mine as we reluctantly broke for air. Needing to take a beat, and hopefully stem some of the surges of need rushing through me.

"Ollie, I missed you," he whispered raggedly, bringing mouth to my ear once more. Kissing skin just beneath the lobe in a maddening way. Causing me to arch closer to him.

"Oh god," the moan slipping out heatedly," Ed don't do that."

Body twisting, to arch into him, completely protesting at such silly words. Of course it would object to my desire not to be teased. Brain attempting to control burning flesh. Leash racing pulse.

His lips curled along my neck," what this?"

Shuddering against the tongue that slicked on sensitive skin, before his mouth dominated it once more.

Tugging at the sleeves of his top, dragging his body closer to me. Needing his solidity. A body like wall to grip onto. The pit of yearning, suddenly welling full as Ed sucked, explored the small square of flesh. Having no idea until now, how good it felt to have his lips traverse that tiny piece of neck.

Driving sences to the verge of insanity. Insides tensing up with raging desire. Chest practically on fire with it. Drumbeat palpitating crazily. Eds chin scratching crazily on sensitive shoulders. Mumbling incoherently, his breath heavy, heady.

Being at an awkward angle, I slipped my hand under his T-shirt, needing to expose skin. Press against his bare body.

Exhale hissed as fingers crossed the dappled panes of his stomach. Knowing exactly where the sparce hair led, but instead of teasing at the elastic of boxers, sweeping my hands up. Dragging nails hazily down his chest instead.

"Huuhh...Uhh," deepness of his throathy responce, tingling a maze of excitement through my chest.

Varying the pressure fingers explored a massaging journey along his torso. Flicking over erect nipples and dappled flesh. Skin now becoming dotted with moisture, heat rising from it in tempered haze. Eds breath becoming entwined with mine, as he was taken with the direction of fingers across his body.

Raggedness pushed heated through his mouth, now at the corner of mine. Each dip and rise I made causing twinges along his body. Only serving to egg me on. Shivers coursing beneath their tips. Every sweep of my hands coming closer and closer to the waistband. Hinting at, but not slinking beneath the material.

His hand had gone back to its firm grip on my knee. Almost biting into it as the torture of his flesh continued.

Moving my leg up along his, with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Coming into contact with his hardness pressing on the soft fabric of the tracksuit bottoms, he hitched. Rubbing against him slowly before, shimmying the knee back down to its original starting place. I was practically aching for him. Covering my own needs by assaulting his skin.

Bringing my mouth to his once more, kissing those soft lips. Delighting in the bristles of stubble that forced their way against tender slickness.

Eds hand laced through the tangled mess of hair, that framed my face. Holding me to him. Our angle still awkward, I moved. Shirking off his knee, needing to adjust position.

Looking to stand, racing mind needing to strip him. Feel naked flesh, unconstricted by clothes. Pit of coiled passion eating up my core. Shifting up, not wanting to break contact. The embrace gaining momentum. Forcing sharp intakes as we continued it. I stood. Holding his face to mine, feeling scratchy hair in my palms. Having to bend over from this new stance.

Pushing his hands away from my body. Grasping his top, I drew it off over Ed's head. Needing his skin exposed. Freckled torso calling to be touched. Dancing digits across bare shoulders, his breath tormented. Dilated pupils staring up at me.

Sighing distractedly as he caught my hips in his arms. Pulling me to him by the denim jean loops.

Still holding his T-shirt, he tugged at the zip and button of my trousers. Zizzag of desire hitting hard, as his eyes latched with mine. Deep pools of need present.

Dropping the emerald tee to the floor, he grinned. Blush dusting my ears, realising that it was one of the things I had bought him for his last birthday. Ed hadn't been sure about the color choice, or plain design. My comment about how great it looked on him irrelevant now, seeing as I had just ripped it off. Despite claiming that day how he should never remove it.. Suited him so well, made with just one in mind.

Gripping the denim Ed pulled them down. Jaw tensing as it freed my flesh. Knees suddenly shaky, shivers of nervous need working through them. Biting my lip, hoping to stop the building groan from becoming airborne. This was torment.

Helping him out with a slight shuffle or two, I wriggled out of the skinny jeans. His hands grimly grasping the back of my legs.

Using his teeth and nose to squirrel under the top I wore to trail kisses down my stomach. Moaning as stubble etched its way across hipbones. His hands now squeezing bottom. Arching me into him.

Head hazy with lost breaths. Pulse beating loud in my ears.

A shuffling causing me some confusion. What was that? Footsteps and a closing door.

Cursing inwardly, damn-it, almost forgot how compact this place actually was. Walls must be paper thin too. Sences forced to try regaining composure. This had to stop.

With great effort I pulled his hands away, causing Ed to raise his face questioning.

"You ok?"

I nodded, still shivering. Body positively alive with tangled webs of pleasure.

"We'll be heard," my whispered realisation, making its presence known.

Don't know of I fancied the people we shared a bus with knowing 'that' much about what went on between us.

He sighed. Low, drawn out with contemplation. I wasn't ashamed to admit it, sometimes 'prude-ish' thoughts entered my head. Wouldn't be the first time my brain demanded cold showers instead of what release we wanted.

Meeting blue eyes with mine, half expecting tempered acceptance, but seeing none. His orbs still ablaze and unwavering. Their determination spidering a flurry of excitement through my body. He wasn't going down without a fight, I could see that. The thought distracting and intense.

Using the navy T-shirt as a tug rope, he dragged me down.

Finding myself on his lap, straddling him. Eds intake sharp as his arousal became covered with mine.

"They won't care."

"Yea but I do," chiding the silly notion that they'd be fine hearing a session happening in the next room.

He was attempting to reposition, friction causing us both to gasp. Any movement was hitting in just the right spot.

God-damit, this felt so good. Unsure if I could halt spiraling to oblivion now. There was still time, but I sure as hell didn't want to, the allure of loss too great to bear.

"I'll be quiet," he husked, jarring his hips against mine once more. My pelvis melting into the blissful pressure of his length along it. Clutching his hair posessively with both hands. Locking onto the curled ginger strands.Rocking towards him instinctively.

Tremours dancing along my legs as we heaved against one another heatedly.

"Ed...please," the simper surprised me, as his name fell off my lips.

Hitching up, he pulled free, constraints of boxers gone. His length jutting up to meet me. My tie at the side pants the only things standing in the way. Hastily tugging the ribbons loose and allowed them fall to the floor. Glad I'd worn the flimsy number to give a smooth look to jeans.

Lowering down shakily to greet him. We slicked together easily. Groaning as he filled me. Completed that void my pelvis craved. Length and stretch of him insane.

With a grunted heave he pushed upwards, the feeling intense. Every bit of my body wanting to consume this new sensation. Shoving down to greet each thrust. He began to labour a bit, panting as we meshed together. My head was becoming one mixed mess of nerves. Spirals shooting like fireworks as I gripped him hard. Our bodies demanding release, chasing it doggedly.

Forcing knees into the mattress with determination, bobbing on his bucking waist, moaning horsely. Ed held onto hips tight almost loosing pace as oblivion neared.

His head practically buried between covered breasts. Fabric rubbing flesh distractedly. Pushing the cotton with intense heat. Hearing the tangled web of sounds escaping his throat sent shudders through me. Rocking what remained of the approaching climax with steady bursts. Coiling around him tightly as the walls came crumbling down. He tremmoured ramming hard. Twitching beneath me as we became one in the insanity of loss.

Grunts racking deeply around the small room. Echoing as it bounced off walls. Accompanied by my own throaty response. Letting loose the vocals, that until now had been somewhat tame. The abyss unable to suck them up. Making them hang around us in the air. A rich mix of unbridled release.

His name twisting around my panting mouth airlessly. Oxygen flowing to every other place than my mouth. Unable to even murmer. Bodies shivering together, last dregs of desire clenched tight and dissipated.

Falling forward to blanket his body with mine, I struggled to catch my breath. Bed springs tensing with metallic bounce as we landed back onto mattress.

Its recoil only adding to the sensations flowing through us. Causing further slivers of release to rock through spasming bodies. I could have laid there forever. Listening to uneven breaths, feeling the race of heartbeat competing with mine.

Eds flushed face staring contented at the ceiling, until I ran shaky fingers across that glorious stubbled chin. The move forcing him to turn to me, almost black orbs skimming across skin as his gaze traversed my face. A guilty lilt crossing his lips, leaving me quizzical.

"May have forgot the whole quite thing," he chuckled, still trying to regain normality.

"Damnit," my cursed responce muttered against his chest," me too."

Feeling my cheeks heating already. I was the one who mentioned it earlier, how could mere seconds have forced that fact from my mind. He held the power to push out everything else, always had.

Embarrassed by thoughts of what would be said about our amorous noctournals. The lads would take the biscuit obviously.

Unlinking myself from around him. Ed attempted to shoot me a very serious look. A hard thing to do while unkempt ginger framed pink face. Especially when accompanied by partially naked body, boxers skewed in a bunched knot with trousers. Fighting the urge not to giggle as he untangled clothing, cursing the intricate maze it had worked itself into by our movements moments ago. Taking some time to accomplish his task. Ed fixed himself up, a bit self conciously.

Almost grumbling in protest when I stopped him from retrieving his T-shirt. Maybe it was the fact that we were on a crowded bus, but he seemed in an awful rush to cover up again.

"C'mon, leave it off. Warm enough in here," my statement mixed with the best, 'puppy dog eyes' I could muster. Throwing in a sad, down turned lip lest the look wasn't convincing enough.

Making him laugh in acceptance,"ok, ok, you win. But you know may get awfully lonely if you don't join me?"

Shooting Ed a shocked expression, did he really expect me to go topless too? Here on this bus, where his buddies might catch a glimpse. So not going to happen, hell would freeze over first. Even if I was one of those size zero bombshells, there would be more chance of seeing me in a poncho than bare chested.

"Dream on lover-boy," I chided lightly.

"Can't blame a guy for trying," he responded. Gathering me into a loose hug.

Resting our foreheads against each other, allowing my hand to whisper along the dip between his rib cage. Feeling that familiar heartbeat against finger tips. Pulse off kilter with mine but in sync nonetheless. Could spend hours like this. Exploring every inch of skin, greeting each hair and freckle. It was entirely possible that I could spend the rest of my days locked in these arms. A thought that scared me beyond belief.

That was crazy. Let's put a pin in such notions and get on with just enjoying the here and now. My mind wrestling with its emotional heart shaped partner. Lord knows how long I'd been quiet for, only drawn out of silence by Ed speaking.

"Will have to kick you off at that next junction we come to. Just too much of a bad influence."

Playfully shoving his arm off me," do that Mr Sheeran and I guess I'll have to take Nigel ."

Knotting his eyebrows in confusion," why?"

"Cos, A girl needs a bad boy when she's cast out on those mean streets," I grinned. My joke still private for now.  What had Nigel done to warrant such punishment? How many hits had he taken on this continent alone. His guitar must have been one very naughty lad.

"Seems fair," he whispered, nuzzling closer as we moved to slip beneath the covers,"maybe I'll allow you to stay on a bit longer. You know, seeing as Nigel is very important and you're holding him to ransom."

"Uh-huh," I replied still smiling. Wrapping himself around me like some human pretzel. Ed relaxed against my back.

"I really did miss you, babe,"came the serious murmer, punctuated by a yawn.

Squeezing his arms tight," missed you too."

Squirreling closer to him, listening as Eds breath steadied and began to slow. Its hotness breezing across skin, moving gentle through tiny hairs at the nape of my neck. This was home, I admitted. Wherever he was, that was where I should be.

The past few weeks had been awful. A certain emptiness made when he wasn't around.

His absence always left huge craters in my world. Making days long, unbearable.

Thoughts eating away at me incessantly. Even friends and family could only partially fill the void. Hating that I had allowed myself to become so enraptured with anyone. Especially after being ripped apart by demented Ex's. I knew Ed was different, everything always was with him. Maybe this would be a new kind of hurt. Claiming something less physical but mental instead.

All of these raging feelings, coupled with the fact that I still hadn't got around to uttering those three important words. Made for a tortured few weeks. Things had reached boiling point, in my world at least.

God, why was this so hard. One sentence demanding so many hours of contemplation. Little syllables that ment so much. Embodied every emotion.

The ones that kept screaming to be free. A phrase we both seemed to be avoiding. Our pasts leading us to be uber cautious. Protecting ourselves from being truly vulnerable. Even if he didn't feel the same, that didn't matter, I would have to break and say it.

Not like they were words he wasn't used to hearing on a daily basis, but still.

They were important to me.

Allowing them to play around my mind a few times as tiredness hit once more, "I love you Ed."


	3. The Morning After

This morning had been nerve wracking. Leaving that little space to join the rest of the tour bus filling me with niggles of fear. Almost hadn't wanted to face what was out there, but despite a few lighthearted jokes. Our nighttime activities weren't mentioned.

Ed grinning cheekily, angling the teasing towards himself, leaving me virtually unscathed. Thankful that I wasn't the only girl around. Joining three others, two of whom were already familiar to me. We got on well chatting in our own little group as the lads rough-housed. Spending most of the day out shopping with them. The bus had pulled to a halt. Giving its passengers a much needed few hours break. There was still another couple of nights worth of travel before we reached the next venue. This was a rather welcome break. Some time to unwind before the next stint.

The girls demanded shopping and lunch, which I was more than happy to oblige. Leave the guys to their own devices, although I'd selfishly rather spend some more time with that ever elusive boyfriend of mine. Managing to catch his eye a couple of times before we parted ways. He had gone off with Stuart and a couple of the lads from his opening band.

Those blue pools barely able to look at me for long. Leaving me wondering if he heard my last utterance last night. Not that I expected a similar response, but any answer would have been better than none at all.

Then again maybe his lessened breath had been Ed slipping into tired slumber. The words left unheard although they had fallen rather surprisingly from my lips none the less. Surrounded by people took my mind off thinking too much about it. Normally drawn to obsess about every little detail.

Biting my nail in distraction, god-damnit Ollie, I chided why did it even matter? After this long, did that stupid sentence even make any difference. Surely dating was enough, no need to push for more. If I ever needed to talk to Lisa it was now. Either her or my Mom, They were my advisors in this crazy life. Could be frank with them and know they would give an honest response. My brothers, were an insanely protective bunch.

Not a level head among them when it came to matters of the heart. Though Ed had done nothing wrong in the slightest, he would somehow get the blame for making me feel inadequate, or dejected. Whatever this was that I was actually feeling. Could hardly ring anyone now though, Would be ridiculously rude given the fact that I had just joined this little group.

"So what dya reckon?" Gemma asked. She was a bubbly blond who was dating one of Eds best mates. Holding up the glittering dress she had just purchased before we sat down to eat.

"To?" my query confused, having been lost in my own thoughts.

She shook her head giggling," those black stilettoes, dya reckon they'll go nice with this?"

Looking at the gorgeous little number she held in front of me I nodded.

"Yea, they'll be great. You'll knock him for six," I replied. She was just as eager as me for the tour to roll to an end.

Having been on board the bus practically for two weeks before my arrival. Big talk being about the last night and the rather raucous party that went with wrapping up a tour. At least now we were suitably ready for the glitz and glam that awaited.

Well glitz and glam in our heads at least, probably be more messy and legless than anything else.

Gemma was having a blast, but admitted to being a bit homesick.

The tour was fun, but I think she longed for her own bed and familiar surroundings. At least we had this rather sunny weather and semi-pampering girls day to complete.

Kept us away from Nerf wars and pranks, maybe a chance to strategize. If we all teamed up a pact could be formed to beat these lads. They would be none the wiser.

***********************************************************************************************

"Where's Ed?" I asked, approaching the messy table, where Stuart sat hunched. Having not found him in the confines of the bus. Wondered where he had got to now. Our girly trip came to an end around half an hour ago. Arriving to full on belching contest.

Myself and Gemma giving each other a weary glance. We had become inseparable today. Having kind of similar personality and a joy of all things unique. Taking in the stalls of hand made jewellery with unbridled joy. She had settled happily beside her boyfriend. Cradling into him as the group decided 'unanimously' what to watch.

It hadn't skipped my notice that a rather fiery set of locs were absent.

Stuart looked up from his laptop, pointing towards the door," cig."

"Of course, where else," obviously he'd be out sneaking one in, Stuart only shrugged in acceptance. Ed was a creature of habit.

"We'll be setting off soon," he remarked tiredly," set a fire under him for me."

" Will do," my response smiled as I headed off out and down the steps. Allowing him to duck back into the world of emails. He had plenty to answer, tapping away busily on the keyboard. Busy, busy, busy Stuart was always that way. Yet he never let it phase him in the least.

At least now I knew where the wiry singer was.No wonder I couldn't find him. Half expecting he would be part of they semi-lit group camped out watching GOT. Snacking as they became engrossed in the storyline. He loved this series, so was a bit bizarre for him to miss even a minute of it.

His shadow was stretching along gravelly ground, somewhat eerily highlighted by stray lamp lights. The grey sillouette telling me, he was stood at the back corner of the vehicle. Walking quietly around to join him.

Ed was lost in his head, staring off into the darkened skyline.

Unlit cigarette in one hand, lighter clicking in the other. Wrapping arms around my chest, to keep out breezed chills.

Going over to join him,"hi!"

"Hey," Ed's reply slightly distracted, glancing at me and clicking the lighter once more.

"Stuart wants you to get a wriggle on," I conveyed, passing on the message. The party bus had a schedule and would be setting off again soon. Another evening on the road ahead of us.

"Alright," the reply one worded. Still in half a world of his own.

"You ok?" I nudged his arm with my elbow, attempting to draw a smile,"penny for 'em?"

Ed shook his ginger head, biting bottom lip, shuffling sneakered shoes on the loose stones," just needed a breather."

That very rare serious look skirting across his features. The appearance troubling me, maybe I was treading on a personal moment here. Being guilty myself on various occasions of needing my own time and space.

"I can...I'll leave you alone if ya like." Moving to stand in front of him. Hoping that it was nothing too troublesome weighing on his mind. We were honest with each on most things but I would be a fool, not to know everyone kept a piece of themselves back. That one private piece.

"No," he answered putting his hands on my waist lightly,"don't do that. Haven't seen you all day."

"You sure, can give you a few mins?" I continued watching as he shook his head once more bringing the cig to his lips. Hovering there momentarily, my eyes narrowed on the white stick.

He sighed grinning slightly. Ed knew I hated smoking. Well hated was probably too strong a word, disliked. Definately disliked the vile sticks of congealed tar and lord knows what else. It was addictive and potent all at once.

Scent being one thing that turned my stomach. The way its smell got onto everything. Clothes , hair, breath, the full shebang. Its essence hanging around like some clingy ash to skin. A tobacco noose.

"Such a bad habit," my chiding light, jokey. I wasn't telling him what to do, not by a long shot. Knowing how hard it was to get rid of that particular pastime. I'd been a smoker on and off since that first experimental one, behind that sheds in school. Having been shot of them two years now, I hoped I never went back. Even the invisible smoke cloud they threw out into surrounding air did little to coax me back. One cigarette led to two, led to a box. It was a slippery slope.

 And a monkey I was glad to get off my back. Everything from my skin to emotional happiness marked by them. Becoming positively demonic when I needed a drag. Watching minutes tick away till lunchbreak when I knew I could spark up, and puff my little heart out. Those days long gone. 

Ed rolled his eyes, scratching stubbled chin,"sorry. Trying to cut down."

"Uh huh," having heard it so many times before.

"Babe,"he argued softly. Stepping closer, placing my feet either side of his"I'm trying."

"I know, said 'uh huh' didn't I?" playfully pretending to accept his answer. Smirking at my complete lack of trust in that statement.

The object of our current conversation hanging limply at the corner of his mouth now. Giving the lighter a little shake, about to reach up to spark it alight. Clasping the cig in my hand I removed it swiftly from his lips. Causing a chuckle of disbelief to leave him.

"Really?" Eds eyebrows raised,"gonna play it that way."

"Fraid so," nodding as he moved to take it back from my grasp. Lifting the thing out of his reach, hidden behind my back.

Daring each other with our eyes.

Would he continue to fight for this one or just light up another?

Would I continue to keep it from him or cave and give it back?

Glad to see fun etching his face instead of the seriousness from moments ago.

Skirting his hand around my waist and pulling me closer to him,"c'mon babe, that's my last one."

His pleading routine almost laughable.

"Yea sure," as if I'd believe such a tale. There was no way he was down to just this. Taking the box out of his jeans, shaking the packet to cement his plight.

"There's more in the bus," he admitted reluctantly," don't make me go in & get them. I'll have to climb over everyone."

Taking the empty box from his hand, I shoved the stick back inside. Closing the lid quickly and easing it into my back pocket. He grinned,

"What?"

"Don't think I won't take that back," he answered, a palm whisping across my side. Tapping the packet before dragging me even closer to him. Our faces now inches from each other. Flutters dancing across my stomach. Heated pink rising up my neck. Eds eyes flicked across my features with interest.

Tracing his mouth with my fingers,exhale breezed deeply against them. Lightly touching lips against his. Keeping them a hairsbreadth distance, forcing Ed to have to bring his face closer to mine to make proper contact. Each caress only half made, leaning back a little further each time. His intakes drawn out, hands tensing against my body. An attempt to keep me close to him.

"Ollie," he husked,"c'mon."

"See," I breathed back,"better things to do with that mouth than suck on a cig."

He groan sending another tremour running through me. Whilst trying to make my point I had unwittingly caused surges of desire to run rampaging through my own chest.

Hands gripped my bottom hard, bringing hips almost in line with his. The angle somewhat awkward, seeing as Ed was leaned against the bus.

Crushing his mouth to mine. Snaking tongue determinedly against my still closed lips. Missing a beat or two as heart began to race. Ed's assault an insistent one, making me to melt into him. Pressing raggedly against one another. Feeling heated pulse, hardening along the inside of my thigh. Opening up to his exploration.

Easing into the excited rthym of meshing mouths with him. Heart zigzagging with lost breaths. Shocked when Eds lips drew away from mine. The move leaving my sences thrown up in the air, left hanging. Hot foreheads pressed together. Throwing open my eyes to look at him. Blue orbs hung low, avoiding the gaze.

Confused as to his sudden stop. This was weird. Unlike us. Taking it into his own hands to halt things before they got too expressive. His lips were still parted and it took everything in me not to fall back into embracing them.

"Olivia," he mumbled," last night...."

"Hey you guys ready," Stuarts voice chimed, making me jump as he crossed the corner," we're all set to go."

Embarrassment already rushing up my ears, trying to extricate from his grasp. Ed just smiled mischievously not even easing his grip, just slipping palms up to waist level instead.

"Yea, be in now," he answered, casting a quick look at Stuart.

Too flushed to glance his way, instead wishing the ground would just open and swallow me.

Stuart mocked,"god, get a room you two. Don't have me hose you down."

Hearing the footsteps retreating, Ed started to laugh," we best get in, he's a man of his word."

Begrudgingly without another word, we mounted the steps heading back onboard. Perfect timing I cursed. Wishing we were still locked together and not back on boards stuffy, slightly claustrophobic tour bus.


	4. An Ordinary Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so finally got it kinda written!! This chapter was so hard to work out. Apologies if its a bit all over the place.  
> Thinking and over thinking, getting into that zone a bit hard this time around.  
> Would really appreciate some feed back, not too sure if it does the whole story justice.  
> Let me know what you think!  
> May come back and run some edits later....  
> Anyway,  
> Hope you guys enjoy,  
> And massive, massive apologies in the long delay in update :-(
> 
> ☺✌❤

"Oh my god," I remarked rushed, joining a fully kitted out Gemma hunkering behind a tree," those things bloody sting."  
  
"Tell me about it," she grimaced, moving her visor slightly to see past paint splatters. We were absolutely covered in green blobs of wet.  
  
Paintballing. Sure sounds like fun! Shaking my head as I glanced around the trunk, not wanting to get hit by another missile. Happy enough that no one front the other team was sneaking up on us. We were doing pityfully. Glad to be split 50/50 on a mixed girls/lads team, we had somehow convinced ourselves that we'd be safe. Boy was that a grevious error.  
  
At this moment hiding behind enemy lines. That's how I was viewing this whole game. Like some military or cadet training gone awry.  
  
A host of pops came somewhere from our left, springing Gemma into life.  
  
"Don't think I can take much more if this," she admitted, scanning the surrounding area.  
  
The guys in charge found our tentative moves amusing. Keeping an eye on events, just in case anyone went too trigger happy. It was a family run event. The cousins kitted out in full on camouflage jumpsuits. More than accustomed to how dirty it could actually get.  
  
"Oh, don't worry. We'll get them all right, won't even know where to run," I chuckled, channeling some of Lisa's 'go-get-them' attitude. Hoping to at least hit a target.  
  
Think I had landed one or two when we started. Beginers luck and all, but nothing since then. Must be some sort of feat. The organisers hadn't even needed to give refills of any sort to me. They had said something about throwing up an arm if you were running on empty. Not something I needed to worry about by any means.  
  
Gemma laughed, bumping into each other as we wound our way down some kind of hill. Trying not to trip over the uneven grass and roots.  
  
"Bet we're the only two idiots left out here," she said," probably all watching us from some hidden fort....."  
  
"Waiting for us to go insane and turn on each other," I concluded.  
  
"Would be jus...."  
  
Gemma's sentence left unfinished, as people sprang from the bushes. Our shrieks echoing on the air as pellets of paint hit.  
  
Feeling the balls bouncing onto my shoulder and back as I turned to shield my face. Stupid really seeing as we wore masks and visors. Not even breathing until the click of triggers stopped. Inching my eyes open to see our attackers.  
  
Gemma was already heaving with laughter. Our own team! Seriously?! We had just been taken down by members of our own flipping team. The giggles infectious. Not long before everyone in the small group was doubled over. My sides aching, cheeks sore. It had been a while since I'd had such a good time. Tears rolling down my face.  
  
From that point on. None of us took it seriously. No longer on teams but randomly shooting at whoever took or fancy. Nothing vicious about it, seeing as it was too difficult to tell who anyone was under all the dirt and gadgets. The whole thing went on for about two hours. Enough time to have ample fun. We got a couple of rounds out of it.  
  
Eventually splitting up to head towards wash rooms to clean up a bit. Sectioned off in the typically 'men/women only' fashion.  
  
Quickly sprucing up and donning a fresh set of clothes, before joining our male companions.  
  
All of whom were pulling faces and comparing battle marks. Typical taunting taking place over how long it took just us four girls to get ready compared to them. Although how long they had been waiting for remained a mystery, as we headed off to get something to eat. The excursion leaving us famished and in need of supplies.

This had been fun. Stuart really picked a winner. Sencing the group needed an event to unwind and release pent up energy at once, it had been a great idea. Paintballing seemingly a thing we all enjoyed. It had tired the group out that was for sure.

Much of the raucousness gone. At least the bus would be saved from any more exuberant Nerf wars. It was beginning to look a bit worse for wear. Mess accumulating almost as fast as it could be cleaned up. I'd given up picking up random clutter. Turning into some kind of mother hen.

It was full on. Chatter, voices, boisterousness. Never ending sound. Every moment shared with groups of people. Bodies falling onto the floor and bed around us. Finding at one stage socks in my face. One of the lads had flaked out. His feet laid on the pillows beside me. Thank god they were clean enough not to emit stifelling pong.

Boundaries were non exhistant. All G rated fun, no less, just a bit more invasive than I was accustomed to an a daily basis.

Maybe I'd locked myself off from the world. On an evening devoid of Lisa, it was just me and Twizzler. My feline companion far more controlled than this group, despite his young age.

Last two nights of Eds tour loomed. The venue well within reach. Less than an hours drive away. A decision had been made prior to arrival, and arrangements made. Tonight would be spent in a hotel. Some swanky place used to catering for 'special' guests.  
Proper personal space. Proper rest. A thing everyone needed.

We had turned up to check in. Finding much to our great amusement that us gals were bunking together. Some attempt to keep any bad behaviour to a minimum, no doubth. Casting Gemma, Anne and quiet, brunette Betty a look we accepted out fate and took room keys.  
Being escorted to the appropriate floor by a rather old, very surly bag boy. Too long in the tooth for such a position.

The lads would follow in a while. More measures needed to be taken for both Ed and the band to enter without a hitch.

Throwing down my bag onto one of the spacious beds I sighed. The place was beautiful. Tastefully decorated. Large, more than ample for the four of us.

Everything appeared new and sparkling. The sheets crisp and inviting. Smell of lavender hanging on the air.

Customary welcome packets sprawled across the desk. Letting us know of the hotel services available during our stay. Pamphlets detailing local things of interest. It was all too much. None of which we'd get a chance to see. Without doubth an elaborate affair.

There was even a basket brimming with various nicities. Fresh fruits, cupcakes, muffins, chocolates. And that was besides the stocked mini fridge and bar. We were being spoiled.

A couple of vases placed carefully, blooming with colourful flowers, tied the whole thing together.

Taking it in turns we used the jacuzzi style bath. Wrapping up and settling down for a more than girly chat before gradually dropping off one by one to sleep.

Boring I know, but it seemed we were all too tired to deal with any more late, burn the candle at both ends senanagins tonight.

  
**************************

  
Finding rest very fitfully, I threw on some leggings, vest and hoodie. Conscious that my agitation may wake slumbering girls, deciding to take a walk. Explore a bit.

Grabbing one of the room cards, taking my phone off charge I left as quietly as was possible.

Heading towards the lobby where lights had been slightly dimmed but still on. Welcoming sight for late night arrivals.

A TV quietly going, with a few bodies dotted around watching highlights of some football match.

There was music humming from a small stage which probably housed live musicians. What played now obviously a recording. Many free seats there.

  
Big comfy ones. Slinking over I shuffled into one. It was a like being engulfed by a small alcove of warmpth. Chair high backed and amply cushioned. The upholstery frim but soft.

Perfectly postioned to stare across landscape. Facing out towards the lit waterfront. Eerily beautiful. Define in a way. Seeing shadowed yachts and masts from the moonlit bay.

It was peaceful here and quite. Music level soothing. Drawing tiredness into each limb.

Yawning, making eyes blurry. Seriously I wasn't able to sleep upstairs, exhaustion dawning down here. Typical.

Clicking on my phone I texted Lisa. Touching base. Not expecting much of a reply. It was past twelve, she'd probably be sleeping, cell on silent. Thoughts of work looming overhead.

Flickering of wind along the black pools caught my attention. Becoming lost in their mesmerising twists and turns. Skimming the surface, invisible stones. Watching numbly how the breeze interacted with water. Nature was an awesome thing. Even in its simplest movements.  
The vibrating mobile shocking my out of my daze.

*wrong n0# babe, where r u?*

Crap, I cursed pulling up the keyboard to type a hasty message back. How the hell had I managed that. Ed, Lisa the two names miles apart. Duh! Another idiot moment.

*sorry 2 wake u :( get some sleep*

What was I thinking? Probably had Ed on the brain too much. Clicking into the conversation with him and not my partner in crime. Luckily I hadn't said anything private, just a 'hi I'm still alive' kinda text, sent between best mates.

Nothing drastic, no cries for help. The words devoid of my usual Dear Agony Aunt connotations. No. What I had to speak to her about couldn't be written, it had to be said out loud. Needing the honest reaction, not a well thought out deliberation. She had always been the level headed out of the two of us. Myself more prone to speaking before engaging brain. Putting foot into moutha fine art by now.

*wasn't*

Grinning at his fast, one worded reply. For one so versed in lyrics, his messages were minimal. Shaking my head still inwardly chuckling.

*sure ;)*

*u no I hate those*

*:O :O :'( *

Curling my legs up underneath me, getting comfortable I stretched. Well he'd be positively fuming now. The wiry singers dislike of emojis something I enjoyed picking on. Not all the time but enough to become a laughing point between us. Done in good humour, to mess around a bit. He wa so easy to wind up.

*oh big it up, when u safe with the girls*

*not*

Knowing that would confuse him. Nope, I was on my own. The incessant lit screen and buzzing would have woken my roommates.

*not??? What??*

*.........*

*babe?*

Leaving the cell down for a few minutes. Well aware that not answering would torture that bit more. Thinking that maybe I should play a level or two of Angry Birds before replying, just for good measure. Or was that pushing my luck too much?

No sooner picking cell back up, than it viberated once more.

*u still there? Not what?*

*:-P *

*f#@k sake really?*

*O:-) *

Ok, definitely pushing it with that last one. Nibbling nervously on my thumbnail. Contimplating heading back upstairs in a while. Wondering wheither to take the stairs of lift. How healty conscious did I feel today.

Snuggling into the hood even more. At least Ed didn't know exactly what room we were in. I think. Picturing him ambling the corridoors and tapping on the wrong door. Being met by Stuarts almost parental disapproval from the other side of wooden frame. Vivid imagination playing out.

  
Pulling down the sleeves to cover now chilly hands I laid my head back onto the heavy support of the armchair.

So easy to act like a child with him. It was almost second nature at this point. But I wondered how long this thing could go on for. Coming clear that maybe my investment in our future was greater than his.

'Jesus, future' I murmured to myself, aware how clingy that sounded. How infinate it was. Sure fire way to freak myself out. Thinking past the now, past this year and university. Scared that I may face it alone. Haunted almost to the point of panic. Chest tightening lightly.

*betta watch ur back*

Chuckling, as I opened his message, what the heck was he on about now. Surely hadn't irritated him with such sillyness.

*oh I'm prepared*

*but r u?*

Casting a look over my shoulder, around the frame of the chair. Checking to see the continued noise wasn't disturbing any of the people watching the big screen in the adjoining space. Nope. All deeply engrossed in the sports.

I contemplated responding. Should really let him sleep, and wind the messages off nicely instead of bordering on weird like they were now. Descending slowly into madness. Tiredness would do that. Make nonsense out of usually sane people.

Flicking my heels onto the floor once more, leaning onto kneecaps. What to write...what to write?

Wait.. What was that! Beneath me.

A scuttle and darting out.

Jumping soundlessly as my ankle was grabbed. Oh my god what the hell, a spider! It had to be a spider. Big ass, huge spider. Irrationally leaping to my biggest fear.

Too scared to even scream. What came out was more like a wimper. Oh my good god!

Something was under my chair. It wasn't a spider. Couldn't be, my mind wrestled. Much too big. They hadn't got hands. Had they?  
So what then? Did I dare look.

Shaking from fright. Catching glimpse of my wide eyed face, mirrored on the dark window.

Seeing a shadow to my left. Larger than any animal or insect.

Quiet laughter met my ears.

  
Mouth hanging open as curly ginger waves rose from the shadows.

"Ed, you bloody scared me half to death," I gasped, hitting at him with the cushion that had been across my knee. Punctuating each word with a still startled blow.

He was chuckling, arms up protecting himself from the onslaught,"hey,c'mon what's this in aid of?"

"I though you were a flipping spider," my spluttered remark, making him burst out into even worse fits of laughter. Folding over at the waist, shoulders rolling with funnyness of what he'd just heard. Unbelievable.

Getting up quickly, I faced him, failing to see the humour. My heart still racing. Avoiding the dark emptiness that was the under side of the armchair, fearful of being clutched once more.

Even knowing it was him and not the dreaded arachnid of my phobias didn't make me less agitated. Flesh getting phantom itches just thinking of the eight legged things. Trying not to scratch at the ghostly tingles.

"Hilarious Ed, what if I'd hit you?" I continued, trying to get him to stop laughing.

"Eh, you did hit me," he smirked," still kinda are."

It was true. I hadn't stopped, every now and then flicking him with a cushioned thud.

Dropping the scatter cushion back into its seat, I threw another look at the floor. Just to be sure.

"No I mean really hit you, coulda lashed out with a punch or anything, god those things make my skin crawl."

His hands were on my arms pulling me into a hug,"sorry babe. Just too tempting, I did say watch your back."

Finding myself unable to look at him.

Struggling against his hold. More embarrassed than annoyed at my reaction to a little scare. He tightened his grip, and I relaxed enough to hug him back. Realising that it was something we both needed. This a way of apology on his part. Knowing well enough the phobia I spoke of. It crept up in crazy ways. His solidity chasing away the last of my nervousness.

"Guess I didn't think that one through," he admitted, face flushed from laughter, guilty glimmer working across his eyes.

Allowing a grinned exhale I admitted," it was funny though, you know in hindsight."

His orbs caught mine, the blue so dark, that colour only hit it where dim lights shone, reflected from the water behind me.

"What are you..? How did you know where I was?" Tripping over which question to ask first. No one could have possibly known I was down here, yet alone sat there.

Shaking his head mischievously, before answering," saw you come in," noticing my confused glance," was sat over there."

  
"What, there watching TV?" I stuttered, taking in the sharp nod,"and you didn't come over because...."

"Just wanted to look at you for a while," he grinned, pink tipping his ears.

"Oh, and that's not creepy," my response making the smile broader. He shrugged, touseling wiry crops of hair. How long had he been sat observing me? Not quite deciding if it was weird or actually ok that my so-called boyfriend would do that.

"You know ya like me creeping on you," he joked, "anyway I'm here now."

"Yea," I agreed," and just what would Stu say to that?"

  
Ignoring the query Ed stepped closer to me. Smelling his unique scent. What I would always call the 'Ed aura'. Signature aftershave, whisks of cigarette and a clean fresh undertone of washed skin. Something I was so used to but still with that power to send butterflies around my core.

Face half in shadow, his lips once more lilting, he tugged the hood free from my head. Running a hand across to skim my cheek, letting loose hair caught in the collar. It slinked free. Softness framing my face. I hadn't tied it back. Hair which was a bit too long at the moment. Really in need of a trim.

A little shiver worked through me as a slight chill wove through the air.

Eds eyebrows knotted in confusion," you can't be cold really?"

Nodding slightly, I shrugged. Showing him hands now comfortably encased in the long sleeves once more. Held together in my palms to stop any peek of draught getting in.

"Forever freezing," my answer making him smile once more, cheeks dimpeling. Creasing beneath dusky stubble," cold blooded, warm at heart."

Something in me needing to finish the sentence. As always.

Ed tipped his nose to mine, before resting our foreheads together. Knowing he was still grinning, but only by the way his eyes were lit.Crinkled slightly at the sides. Dancing with genuineness. Couldn't help smiling back, feeling his hands weave through my hair.

Half expecting a kiss to follow. Biting my lip in anticipation of such a move. Pulse beginning to pick up speed. This was intense. My bodys tingling on edge.

His pupils took in my face with a quick sweep, a softness sucking me into those darkened irises. Not sure quite what I saw there.  
Eds breath breezed out a bit unsteady," Olivia."

Heart thunked. The tremor to his tone, making the beats skip a bit. Why so formal now? Used to him abbreviating the name. My hands tensed on his chest uneasy. His pulse quick. Felt beneath fingertips and cotton.

God-almighty, why was it racing so crazily? Concern worming its way to mind.

About to query him, taking a fast breath, in which to formulate the question. I was stopped dead.

His voice barely a whisper. But close enough that I could easily make out each syllable. Every word making me frizzle with a warm flurry of excitement and shock alike.

"I love you."

There was a rush of so many feelings at once. I daren't even begin to break down each of them. Heart jumping in my ribs. Thumping, punch like and steady. Veins crushing my ears with the weight of blood pushing through them.

Had I actually heard right? My brain wrestled with an illusion that maybe I dreamed it.

Eds palm cupped my chin, and I could feel the shaking,"Ollie.."

Bringing my mouth to his quickly. I kissed him, not hard, or soft but somewhere between the two. My throat was dry. Too cracked. Shock becoming sun schorching it to desert sandyness.

Unable to bring words past them yet. But needing to do something, anything to fill the gap while brain tried to coax my larynx to work. I knew he was scared. Holding it together well enough, but the fear was there. Pit-pattering in my hands.

And I wanted to chase it away. That unnecessary grimness making him afraid of my response. Pushing against the stubble framed lips, I knew so well. Feeling him ease slightly, before I pulled back. Meeting anxious eyes with similar shivers of vulnerability. This was it. Laid bare.

"I love you too," feeling an immense shift in the atmosphere around us. Suddenly nervous tension again. That static before our first kiss.

Forcing giddy, childish giggles/chuckles from us. As if we didn't know what to say. What to do from this point onwards. Teenage uncertainty filling the void.

Embracing each other once more, I ran my hands around his neck. Holding him close.

Not wanting to let him go. Not just yet.

I loved him. And he knew it. My heart hung out there. Soul open to another, the hardest thing I'd ever done. Trusting welfare of emotions to anyone, really daunting to the verge of sickness. But there it was. A wash of happy, giddy, awe engulfed head at once. Choosing to cling to the joy welling from my stomach instead.

This was unreal.

The tattooed arms surrounding my body belonged to someone who loved me. A feeling so incredible, if I died now. I would pass eternally happy. It was more than I ever wished for. So much more. 

**Author's Note:**

> This Story contains some lyrics from 'Give Me Love'  
> Songwriters © Ed Sheeran, Christopher William Leonard & Jake Nathan Gosling  
> Lyrics © Warner Chappell Music Inc, The Royalty Network Inc, Sony ATV Music PUB LLC  
>   
>   
> © All Rights Reserved only on the characters/storylines of Olivia, Lisa and any/all subsequent 'created' characters. I do not know or am in any way affiliated to any of the real people used in this piece. I do not wish to bring discomfort or duress to them or their family/friends, by the way in which they have been portrayed. The writing does not reflect them or their personality. This story is purely fiction & should be treated as such.


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